Road Rage Hypocrite….and the endless JACKHOLES.

Hello, my name is Alicia, and I am a self-proclaimed road rage hypocrite.  You might be wondering what exactly a road rage hypocrite is, and I’m not really sure myself.  Clearly I made it up for dramatic effect. Here is what I think: I definitely have road rage, but I also HATE the people that have road rage and are mean to me.  Clearly I’m a hypocrite!  Okay, that really doesn’t make sense.  Bear with me.  Or is it BARE with me???  I digress.  (Okay further digression:  I just googled it, and the correct usage is BEAR.  Apparently BARE indicates that you want someone to get undressed with you? NO that is not what I wanted!).

But seriously, driving is beyond frustrating.  I read something the other day that said “If you don’t swear while driving then you’re not paying attention to the road at all.”  How accurate is that?  I never really knew anger until I started driving…clearly the world is full of stupid morons that need to learn how to drive.  I used to think that drivers in Philly were HORRIBLE; they all drive about 900 miles an hour and are reckless and pull out guns and shoot you for cutting them off.  (CLEARLY not a good situation).  Then I moved to Texas with hopes for better drivers, but NOPE, literally no one knows how to drive there, especially if it is raining.  When it rains, people slam on their brakes and fishtail across 4 lanes of traffic and cause about 400 accidents.  I thought moving to Florida would bring better drivers, but HAH that was wishful thinking.  Put a bunch of people driving to work in rush hour with a bunch of retired people heading out to the doctor or wherever it is the retirees go and you have a MESS on your hand.  It basically equates to someone going 80 miles an hour and a vintage Cadillac pulling in front of them going about 35.  It’s not a pretty scene.

So I will admit that I definitely get enraged when driving.  However, I am that person that hides behind their horn because I am pretty sure if I were any more aggressive I would get shot.  No literally, I have the WORST luck out of anyone in the world, so I would be the person that gets shot with an arrow for making some cray cray person mad.  However, I do say a whole lot when I’m alone in the car and some jerk makes me mad.  But have you ever really stopped and listened to yourself when you start road raging?  It is literally hilarious.  I say things like “What are you doing? Literally. What. are. YOU. doing?” OR “I’m going 15 over the speed limit, what more do you want?” OR “Nice blinker.”

The best thing is that I even created my own word for those drivers that really piss me off.  So here it is: a JACKHOLE ™.  Yes, I did just pretend to trademark my awesome new word.  When that becomes a super popular word, and they want to put it in the dictionary, remember where you heard it first. ME!

So yes, I’m more like a silent road rager, I definitely get mad, but I pretty much keep all of my anger in my car.  But the one thing I can’t stand is when people freak out on me.  Like clearly I’m the world’s best driver, what could make them angry? (not joking…okay maybe a little).  I had a wonderful experience the other day when I was stopped behind a car at a red light, and we were both turning right.  There were literally no cars coming and yet this lady would NOT turn right.  After waiting for about 2 minutes, I tapped the horn, not in a mean way, but just as encouragement.  Finally she turned, and I did as well.  I went next to her in the left lane.  She slowed right next to me and rolled her window down and proceeded to scream at me for about a mile, “DON’T YOU RUSH ME!  HOW DARE YOU EFFING RUSH ME.  DO NOT EFFING RUSH ME…” It went on and on.  She had her kids in the car, literally how pathetic.  And talk about overreacting.

So there is where my road rage hypocrisy comes from….it’s okay when I freak out on other people, but HOW DARE THEY yell at me.  Don’t even get me started on the people that drive in the left lane….drive right, pass left.  It’s not difficult America.

Final words of advice….

Shenanigans

Life is steadily marching on, and the summer is absolutely flying by….I can’t believe it’s almost August.  That makes me sad!  Although….I am a real adult, and I have a full-time job, and I can’t really do anything in the summer….  (Not to mention that I live in Florida, so I am not expecting harsh winters!).  So I really don’t know why I’m getting worked up about the summer going fast…

So in recent life events, I decided that I wanted to start cooking.  (HA! I KNOW!) BUT here’s the issue I’ve found thus far: cooking is a LOT of work.  Dang.  You have to prepare even BEFORE you can start cooking and let’s just say, I’ve never been a pre-planner.  I like to go with the flow. YOLO, you know?

YOLO ???

But noooo, when you cook you have to cut crap up, marinate things, make sure you have ALL of the ingredients, and the list goes on and on and on. (AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT).  So I go through phases, where I have these great intentions that turn into big huge fails.  For instance, last week I found a delicious looking salmon and rice recipe that I was so excited to try.  Then I started looking at the ingredients and all of the prep and I realized how difficult the rice recipe was….so I bought some Rice-A-Roni (SAME THING RIGHT?)  BUT, I decided to make the salmon.  It should have been really simple. Literally you just marinate it and bake it.  Who could possibly mess that up? OH I CAN!  It was so overcooked and dry and had no flavor.  #FAIL  It didn’t look so bad but….the Rice-A-Roni was a good call.

But if at first you don’t succeed, USE THE CROCK POT….or as I commonly refer to it, the magic machine.

ERMAHGERD! CROCK POT MAGIC!

Yes, there is some prep work that goes into using the crock pot, but literally you can just cut some crap up, throw it in there, pay absolutely NO attention to it for about 8 hours and voila a magical meal that tastes good.  I’ve had 2 successes cooking with the crock-pot, so now I’ve decided that’s all I will use to cook.  It’s probably better for everyone.  But considering I only have 2 recipes in the crock-pot, I’m going to need to step up my game and start researching some new ones.  Greattttt….now I’m going to have to turn back to Pinterest.  I always have the best luck with things from there…here are some Angry Bird cupcakes that I created….how magical…and challenged.  Really more challenged than magical.

#PinterestFAIL

So enough about my cooking…or lack thereof cooking…I had a great trip this weekend to Universal Orlando.  It’s been about 10 years since I have been to Orlando (ew that makes me sound old), but yes things have changed greatly in the last 10 years. BUT DO NOT WORRY, THE ET RIDE IS STILL GOING STRONG.  Yes, I do love the ET bicycle ride.  It’s so cute and makes me feel like a kid again.  I also LOVED the Spider-Man ride still.  It hasn’t changed at all in 10 years and it’s still AWESOME!  I freaked out when we first got there because they told me that it was closed for maintenance.  Luckily, they got the hammer out and had it fixed by the end of the day!  Universal was awesome…except that I felt super old considering went on a couple of major rides and felt soooo sick.  Not sure what the issue was…if I was overheated or I’m too young to hang with the cool crowd.  Apparently 23 is over the rollercoaster hill???  HOPEFULLY NOT considering I’m 23 going on 15!Harry Potter World (or whatever it’s actually named) was pretty awesome, even though I didn’t understand literally anything.  It was like being in another country where you don’t understand the language…I never read any of the Harry Potter books or watched any of the movies, so yeah, I was super out of my element.  However, it was amazingly well done.  I even tried the Harry Potter Butterbeer.  It was like a cream soda milkshake…not sure I was a fan.  I already wasn’t feeling well and that was WAY too sweet and heavy.  But hey, I gave it a try.  We also got to ride the Hogwarts Express train that just opened a couple of weeks ago and it was pretty awesome.

Sunrise over Tampa Bay on the way to Universal!

Beautiful blue sky day…and hot as heck.

Harry Potter World!

Butter beer….not a fan…

Hogwarts Express Railroad

Cousins!

Beautiful blue sky day…and hot as heck.

Why is this not real life???

ET IS MY FAVE!

Love ET!

Jurassic Park

Fun times!

Pretty Seussland!

Good night Universal!

 

Ash Tray versus Ass Tray……among other things…

So today we were driving along stuck in horrible traffic on the super long bridge that connects Tampa to Saint Petersburg going about ohhhh 5 miles an hour.  The entire hour long journey across the bridge, the guy in the car in front of us kept chain smoking and literally throwing his cigarrettes back behind him toward our car. Literally after the third cigarette I was enraged.  Keep yo butt to yourself bro!  All the while I’m imagining fricking seagulls eating all these cigarettes and dying, which is funny because I DON’T EVEN LIKE SEAGULLS!  Furthermore, let’s just pretend I was driving some 18 wheeler semi tanker with gasoline, would you continue to throw your cigarrettes at me?  Probably since he was an IDIOT.  BUT I HOPE NOT.  Lol but what was funny is the guys license plate was in support of teachers in Florida…I hope you’re not a driver’s ed teacher, buddy!

So on a side note: as a kid I always thought that cigarrettes were thrown into ASS trays, not ASH trays…now that I look back, I think it has to do with them being called butts…so the butts should go in the ass tray.  It’s really quite genius level thinking if you ponder it for a second….but totally unrelated to my anger.

So a couple of hours later, my anger had ceased and I was walking around the grocery store and what did I see, but a lady carrying her dog around?  EWWWWW.  What the heck?  Did I miss the memo that dogs were allowed to go to the grocery store?  Now don’t get me wrong, I am a HUGE dog person, but I have NO idea where your grimy dog has been and what nasty disease he is carrying around.  And now he’s all over the bakery section of the store. EW.  Oh this bothered me.  I almost said something, but I was too busy taking pictures…. (I am very glad that she did not leave the dog in the hot car though…THAT IS NEVER ALRIGHT!)…

The dog paired with that outfit is literally too much. DOGS DON’T BELONG IN THE BAKERY!

Lol I really sound like such a judgmental snob….OH WAIT I AM!  LOL I totally forgot!  But literally the world is full of too many idiots that think that they can get away with whatever they want.  HECK NO, I’m going to take a picture and put you on blast yo!

So now to change the subject all together, I am going to share some super hilarious pictures, videos, and links that totally made me crack up this week.  ENJOY!  Have a great week!

1) If you are a fan of “Orange is the New Black” you HAVE to check out the cutest, funniest spoof ever.  Who doesn’t like some jailhouse kittens? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic9Bi75o7bU

2) This Picture:

 

3) Banana Anatomy that is 100% accurate:

4) My feelings toward celery:

5) OH PAULA DEEN….

 

6) THIS BUZZ FEED is HYSTERICAL: http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/28-reasons-why-we-cant-have-nice-things

7) A Turtle Playing frisbee:

8) AND THE MOST AWKWARD ENGAGEMENT PICTURES EVER: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/ball-and-chain

9) And this hilarious “Orange is the New Black” Video of Crazy Eyes:  http://elitedaily.com/entertainment/uzo-aduba-hilariously-auditions-for-every-character-in-orange-is-the-new-black-video/629501/

10) And these hilarious Snapchats: http://www.buzzfeed.com/samstryker/bend-and-snapchat-lol-puns#

11) And this picture of Prince George:

 

 

Let’s Go on An Adventure!

I really hope that I don’t have to start every blog post with an apology for being so lazy on the blog.  BUT HERE WE GO AGAIN!  Sorry for being lazy on the blogging front. I love blogging, but I also have to work (still haven’t won the lottery yet dang it!)…Oh, and I am also watching the entire 2^nd season of “Orange is the New Black”….PRIORITIES people!  I also have been super into reading lately and went a little cray cray on Amazon, so I weeped my way through “A Fault in Our Stars”.  Life has been so crazy and busy these past few weeks too…work, Spurs Championship viewing with my crazy superfan mother, and a sick dog!  But, hey, like my homegirl Hellen Keller once said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”  AM I RIGHT?

So yeah, Monday through Friday, I am super busy with work.  For those of you that don’t know what I do, I am an HR Consultant/Recruiter working for a company out of San Antonio that recruits for healthcare organizations across Texas and Florida.  I mainly recruit doctors, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, and other healthcare professionals. BLAH BLAH BLAH…lol not to bore you all.  But working as a recruiter does make for lots of funny stories…typically about what NOT to do when trying to get a job (like the guy that asked me in an interview if there were any groups of people or individuals to stay away from in the cafeteria? WHAT?  I think he was asking if we had gangs, but I’m not sure!).  I think I’ll write a blog post on all those crazy stories someday.  Let me just say that there are some crazy, dumb people out there.

My life in a nutshell.

We also had a hard time when Shelby (the princess pup) got sick AGAIN.  She spent a really fun day pooping her pants (fur?)..it was a grand time.  I have no idea how she keeps getting this bacteria that according to the vet is only found in dead, rotting animals. UM HELLO?!?  She is 15 pounds of prissy, spoiled dog…hello, she wears a PINK BOW!  WHERE WOULD SHE BE EATING DEAD THINGS?  I guess I have to stop picking dead raccoons and squirrels off of the road for her dinner.  Definitely not a fun part of the last couple of weeks!

Crazy dog.

Although the weeks are super crazy, we always seem to have super exciting adventures on the weekends.  There are so many fun places to go to in Florida that its hard not to have fun.  The past few weekends included Disney World, Anna Maria Island, and other adventures!  I apologize now for the ton of pictures from these adventures that are coming….

Disney World was so much fun!  It is amazing that it is less than 2 hours from our place.  AND GUESS WHAT?  I got a Season Pass, so I can go back ANYTIME I want!  YAY Disney…what a great $600 investment! Lol!  It turned out that getting a 1 year Florida Resident pass basically pays for itself if you go more than 6 times, and since I will have other family visiting and other trips planned later this year, I know I will be there more than 6 days!

There is just something totally magical about Disney…you can totally be a kid, no matter what!  Heck yes, I did go on the Little Mermaid ride, and yes, I greatly enjoyed it!  I haven’t been to Disney since 2005, so it was fun to see how many things have changed…and how many things have stayed the same!  I have so many favorite rides at Disney.

My top 5 rides would have to be:

1. Soarin’
2. It’s a Small World…. how can you not love that song???
3. Peter Pan’s Flight…which is made for toddlers…I’ll stop there…
4. Tower of Terror
5. Space Mountain
6. Rock’ N’ Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith…gives me a headache BUT so worth it!
7. Haunted Mansion
8. CRAP!  That is totally more than 5…I totally have about 30 favorite rides!!!

But whatever, Disney was so much fun!!!  Totally going back in July…maybe every single weekend….Here are some awesome Disney pictures!

Most magical place on earth!

Yes, I did spend $22 on flashy Minnie Ears.

Tower of Terror Rocks

Woohoo it’s all so official!

Whatup Belle?

Ariel is cool.

Another fun trip we recently took was about an hour south of here to Anna Maria Island.  IT WAS SO GORGEOUS!  The beaches were AMAZING.  New life goal: become rich enough to buy a beach house and live on Anna Maria Island FOREVER!  I feel like that will take a LONG time to accomplish…perhaps I should just rent one for a week?  Sounds like fun to me!  It was THAT beautiful! I bet you are getting sick of seeing all of the pictures of the beaches that we go to! Well guess what?  Here come some more that were taken on Anna Maria Island!  YAY!

Amazeballs

Gorgeous

Pretty sure there were snakes, but hey, off the beaten path is pretty cool.

Birdy

Beach

 

Weirdo playing the trumpet while driving. That was new.

And now it is the most dreaded time of the week…Sunday night.  The realization that the adventure has come to an end and work starts bright and early.

The struggle is real.

Oh god make it stop!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

I Wouldn’t Survive in Jail…for 3.43 seconds

Sorry for the lack of effort on the blog recently. I could make excuses about being swamped at work (which is true), but honestly, I have enjoyed a life of laziness and endless episodes of Law and Order SVU when not working.  Oh Stabler and Benson, why do you two not end up together?

So today is the day that “Orange is the New Black” starts streaming Season 2! WHOOT WHOOT! …if you haven’t watched it, you totally need to check it out on Netflix.  It is literally the funniest show about a straight-laced lady from the suburbs that gets sent to a women’s prison for something that she did when she was in college.  SERIOUSLY WATCH IT…

But anywho, today I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth and I looked over at my shower and I was appalled at how many different products I actually had.  Literally, how many different body washes does one person need?!?  Apparently, I need 3-4 body washes, along with 2 different types of shampoos.  Cool.

So this led me to thinking that I would absolutely never survive in prison.  Like for a minute. Now I’m not talking oh I got a public intoxication arrest and spent 2 hours in jail, I’m talking hardcore months or years in jail.  I’m pretty sure I would totally be Piper from “Orange is the New Black”, (well not a confused former lesbian/lesbian again), but totally a stuck up white girl in a hardcore women’s prison!  No way would I be able to survive without my 734 different bathroom products…OR WITHOUT MY CHARMIN TOILET PAPER!  Hello, how do you survive in jail without quality TP?  I’m not willing to test this out.  Public bathrooms are horrid enough, I can’t even imagine what the bathrooms are really like in jail.  Probably not pretty.

I would also miss my fluffy bed and my fluffy dog.  Boy my bed sure does look nice right?  Here’s a secret.  I HATE MAKING MY BED.  Literally hate it more than any other chore in the world.  What is the point of making my bed if the room is empty all day and I’m just going to sleep in it later?  Are you forced to make your bed in prison?  Is it like the military?

So I’m going to try and avoid jail at all costs.  I think I’ll go to Disney World instead!  I am so excited to live in Florida where the beautiful beaches are just minutes away and Disney is only an hour and a half.  Y’all can catch me at Disney this weekend pretending to be a pretty pretty Princess.  #ImTheNewCinderella  HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND LOVES!!!

I SWAM WITH A MANATEE! #MemorialDayWeekend

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Y’all/Yinz/Youz Guys (see my last blog post…clearly I’m still a little confused on what I’m going with…Y’allinz guyz???).  First and foremost, got to give a special thanks to the men and women that give their lives everyday to protect the freedom that we all too often take for granted.  This is what the weekend is all about, but I will admit that I also enjoy having a 3 day weekend (who wouldn’t want 3 days off of work?!?).

I had a pretty relaxing weekend down here in the tropical land of Florida.  We decided to get up early on Saturday and head to the beach to see how insane it would be over the holiday weekend.  My favorite beach so far is Indian Rocks Beach…it is quieter AND has a public bathroom (no not the ocean you sickos, like a real bathroom!).

The beach was absolutely BEAUTIFUL.

The water was warm and oh so refreshing.  So here I am frolicking about in the ocean when I see a dolphin out past some buoys like a half mile away, and I’m like OMG I’m swimming with a dolphin, come here little fella.  (Yes that is exactly how I talk to a dolphin silently in my brain).  I’m standing there admiring the dolphin when this weird thing comes up next to me that kind of looks like a hippo.  I’m thinking what the crap is this…I’m about to get attacked by a weird rabid ocean hippo, when the man next to me says “oh look at the manatee!”  I started thinking about if I ever saw any stories about killer manatees in the past but decided that nothing easily came to mind, so I thought I was pretty safe.  The guy next to me reassured me by saying that manatees are very tame and mellow, but he didn’t recommend I try to pet it’s face. YEAH BUDDY, that’s EXACTLY what I was going to do, try to put my hand in a wild animal’s mouth to get a better idea if it had fricking teeth or something.  I’m really not that dumb.  I am sorry that I didn’t get to take a picture of it, so I made the following picture to give you a photo reenactment of the scene.  CLEARLY I don’t know how to use photoshop and just took 2 pictures and copied and pasted them onto each other….CLEARLY….

So yeah, I semi-swam with a dolphin and almost swam on the fricking back of a manatee…pretty awesome day all in all….

Saw this sign and I was really confused. I thought the child was a pole dancer or riding a magic broom. APPARENTLY, it’s a sign for a playground. WOAH. Could have fooled me!

Saw this custom painted corvette driving to the beach. I bet they thought that was cool for about a day. #TOOL

This is completely unrelated but so fricking FUNNY.

 

I. Hate. Grocery. Stores.

Let me start right off the bat by saying that I absolutely HATE grocery stores.  Not going to sugar coat that one! Pretty much everything about the store ends up annoying me (EXCEPT for the food I guess).  For starters, I somehow always end up going hours before a major holiday or when literally EVERY single person in the surrounding 5 counties (maybe even states/Mexico/Canada/Caribbean Islands) decides it’s a good time to go to the EXACT same store and need the exact same items in the same aisle. Don’t even get me started on the check out lines, why do you have 20 of them if you are only ever going to have 2 of them open?!?  That’s dumb.

I also ALWAYS inevitably have some soccer mom or grandma that rams her cart into me…literally I swear it’s the same lady.  She is totally following me into every store in America just to run me down in the middle of Aisle 3.  CLEAN UP ON AISLE 3!  We got another one down!

While I am on my rant about grocery stores, I would like someone to please tell me who is in charge of actually naming grocery stores? Literally EVERY grocery store is named something totally DUMB.  For instance, here in Florida, the grocery stores are named Winn Dixie, Publix, Piggly Wiggly and Sweetbay.  ALL FOUR ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID NAMES.  Like Winn Dixie and Piggly Wiggly just sound so Southern/Redneck/White Trash.

Texas wasn’t really much better, as the only grocery store there was the H-E-B.   I will tell you that I fricking I LOVED HEB (despite the stupid name).  But seriously, HEB was named for it’s founder, Howard Edward Butt.  The Butt grocery store…yum!  I guess I understand HOW HEB got it’s name, but the bigger question is WHY Mr. Butt never thought to A) Change his name to something other than BUTT and B) name his grocery store something a little more creative than his initials?

The man, the legend, Mr. BUTT himself

Pennsylvania had Giant and Giant Eagle….way to think outside the box guys.  Hmmmm there’s already a Giant, so let’s just name our store Giant Eagle.  And what the heck does Giant or Giant Eagle have to do with groceries?  I feel like maybe the stores’ names should actually relate somehow to food.  Last I checked I couldn’t walk in and buy a giant at Giant….. “Yes, please give me that 7 foot tall one in the corner…with a side of turkey.”

Now I’m just spiraling out of control here, but I get sidetracked pretty easily.  Having lived in a bunch of different places, I am always amused that people call things by a different name depending on where you are.  Like in Pennsylvania they call grocery stores “Food Stores”…as in “Hey I’m going to the food store.”  This was always funny to me.  But seriously the city known for making up their own weird words has to be Pittsburgh.  I spent a good 4 years in Pittsburgh while attending the University of Pittsburgh.  ALL I CAN SAY IS YINZ HAVE THEIR OWN CRAZY LANGUAGE!  They literally do, it’s referred to as Pittsburghese.  They refer to the shopping cart as a BUGGY.  The first time somebody asked me if I needed a buggy, I literally laughed at them.  I was like what the crap is a buggy?!?  Coming from the suburbs of Philly, there were a lot of Amish people that drove their little horse and buggy around, so naturally I was super confused when someone at the grocery store asked if I needed a buggy.

 

Another language anomaly in both Pittsburgh and Philly is that they both refer to the sprinkles you put on ice cream as JIMMIES.  Who the frick is Jimmy and why would I want to put him all over my ice cream?

The language difference that makes me laugh the most is YINZ (Pittsburgh) vs. YOUZ GUYZ (Philly) vs. Y’ALL (clearly Texas).  Do yinz want to get a sammich from Permanees? Do youz guyz wanna get a cheesteak from Pat’s?  Do y’all want to get a taco from Las Palapas?  DANG NOW I’M HUNGRY!

Okay, I apologize, I really did digress. 🙂

 

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s BACK to Work I Go!

Tomorrow I go back to work after being off for 17 days (WOAH!) to move to Florida!

I have mixed feelings about going back to work 🙂 

It’s the same sad feeling I get when a vacation comes to an end.  I REALLY enjoyed the lazy, beach lifestyle! However, when I wasn’t at the beach, I was shopping…for literally EVERYTHING…beach bags, beach chairs, an umbrella, swimsuits, shoes, and on and on and on. So yeah, I NEED to get back to work! #Broke  However, this time off shows me that I will one day REALLY enjoy retirement.  So really looking forward to when I’m 95 and retire on the beach!  …or maybe I need to win the lottery…guess I need to start playing!

So getting back to work will be different because I’m starting tomorrow as a “Remote Employee.”  That basically means doing the SAME job I was doing but from home while everyone else is at our office in San Antonio.  I start my big day tomorrow on a video call with our entire office in San Antonio…which basically means my face will be blown up on a 70 inch screen in our conference room for about 15 people to see. Joy!! 😉 Guess I’ll be spending a LOT of time doing my makeup in the morning since every pore on my face will be magnified a gazillion times!

 

I’m also kind of freaking out about what to wear? Like only my head is visible on the call, so I’m thinking a nice shirt…but can it be paired with like my M&M pajama shorts?!?  If I’m at home it only makes sense to be as comfortable as possible, but then what if for some strange reason I have to get up and get something?!? Then the whole room sees my M&M butt. #stress So I’m thinking pajamas are out…

I’m also going to have to get used to having no one to talk to! Oh man. I LOVE to talk (probably why I started a blog…it’s like I’m talking RIGHT NOW!)  But yeah, it is going to be a huge adjustment working by myself, but maybe I’ll actually benefit and get more work done.  The people that I normally talked to at work have probably already benefitted the last 17 days without me bothering them 🙂 HEY, now I can just video conference everybody.  That or I’ll become crazy and start talking to my dog all day long while I work. Oh wait I talk to her all day long already! 🙂  Clearly by the pictures that follow, Shelby LOVES listening to me talk…..

    

    

   

FREE THE LEASH KIDS!

Since I was off from work this week, I decided to make the most of it.  And by making the most of my time off, I mean laying on the beach all week getting tan and enjoying the relaxation. Here are some pictures so you know how gorgeous and beautiful the beach was 😉

                                                                 

So there I was sitting on the gorgeous Indian Rocks Beach rocking out to my super cool jams (pretty sure it was like the Spice Girls or something…I mean I was using my iPod shuffle from like the dinosaur era) when this family of 4 comes strolling up and sets up camp next to me….literally they had pop-up tents and everything (they were IN-TENTS beach people I guess…see what I did there?  Camping…IN-TENTS instead of intense….I crack myself up).  But what really caught my attention is that the two kids (probably 3 years old and 5 years old) that were wearing those stuffed animal backpacks that have leashes that attach to their parents.

Here I am sitting on the beach and it becomes clear that I am watching a freaking train wreck.  You would think that once they got all settled, the parents would let the kids off the leash to play in the ocean, but NO, they took their kids into the freaking ocean with the leashes still on.  Now, I’m just thinking out loud here, but don’t you think those stuffed animals full of gulf salt water are going to STINK really soon?!?  Like it’s a 1:1 ratio, 2 parents, 2 kids.  You can’t manage to watch them without tying them up?  The poor little guy kept trying to get ahead and the dad would pull him back.  It was like walking my Shelby dog, she likes to pull hard too!  Here are some pictures to illustrate the scene (NOTE: I have edited the pictures to protect their identity!)

So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: child leashes really freak me out.  Here is some cozy, cute little stuffed bear the kid is all excited to wear as a backpack and boom, there goes all of their freedom.  Like, I really hate judging people, but come on, if you can’t control your kid well enough that you have to tie them up and treat them like an animal, perhaps something bigger is going on.  Clearly I don’t have kids, but I do understand they are a handful, but seriously, JUST HOLD THEIR HAND!  Don’t tie them up!

All of this makes me think about when I was little, and my mom took me to the mall.  I was probably about 3 or 4 years old, and we went to JC Penney.  When we were there, my mom ran into a good friend of hers and was so excited to “show me off” to this lady.  Well, while my mom was saying hello to the friend, I ran underneath the clothes rack.  My mom said “here is my daughter, Alicia,” and yup, I was nowhere to be found.  My long blond hair somehow got tangled with the metal clothes rack, and I was totally stuck underneath all of the clothes.  My mom heard me under there and tried to pull me out causing me to scream and freak out because it was pulling my hair.  I guess I was the kind of kid that really needed to be leashed up! 😉  I probably still should be….

First Blog Post EVER. WOAH!

Oh my!  I’m blogging, who would have thought it?  I never really thought about starting a blog in the past…but with the help of a couple of insistent (and awesome) friends, HERE I AM!  These friends might regret their efforts once they actually read it!

Where to even begin?  I guess with our move to Florida that literally happened just this week.  I lived in Texas for only about a year, and I really did LOVE everything about it (except for the 100+ degree heat in about mid-July, I NEVER liked that!).  There were so many great things about Texas, but the people really are one of a kind.  The people in Texas are AMAZING.  My coworkers, friends, neighbors, random strangers, grocery checkout people, literally EVERY ONE in the freaking state was so incredibly nice. I miss the people so much already…AND the Mexican food of course. Yum yum.  I will literally make a trip back just to eat breakfast tacos again…and to see all my wonderful Texas friends.  But really, you have not lived until you have tried a breakfast taco from Las Palapas.

So it probably sounds crazy that I actually left?  Well, I probably wouldn’t have moved if it been some other place than Florida!  My mom (Jackie Melin!) was offered a great position with HSN in Saint Petersburg, Florida, so her and my step-dad (Randy Melin/Ranpa!) made the decision to relocate.  After looking at the beautiful pictures of the beach, I knew that I wanted to be here.  I FRICKING LOVE THE BEACH!  AH!  Another bonus is that my aunt and uncle on my dad’s side and cousins from my mom’s side live in Tampa, so it is nice to be close to family.  Did I mention that Disney World is only about an hour and a half away? AH!  I LOVE DISNEY!  I don’t care that I am 23 years old, Disney will always be awesome.  #KidAtHeart  So here I am in Saint Petersburg, Florida!  I am so happy that I moved, I know I would have regretted it if I hadn’t!  Plus, I’m young, so what is the worst that could happen?!?  I can always move again if it does not work out!  I’m getting pretty good at it!

One good thing is that after trying to resign from my job at Provenir in San Antonio, they asked me to stay on as a remote employee from Saint Petersburg, so yay I’m not unemployed!  They even let me take 2 weeks off to get moved!  So here I sit, blogging on my mini-vacation.  It is great that I do not have to worry about the stress of finding a new job.  It is also pretty great that I can do the exact same job from the comfort of my pajamas and be 15 minutes from a gorgeous beach!  Lol.

It definitely was an adventure getting from San Antonio to Florida!  ROAD TRIP!  My mom starts at HSN on Monday, May 5^th, so we decided we would caravan across the country about a week before she started.  This gave us time to get settled in our apartment and get familiar with the area.  So the three of us and Shelby the dog packed my Jeep Liberty and my mom’s Chevy Tahoe to the top and cruised 1200 miles and 18 hours from San Antonio, TX to Saint Petersburg, FL.  That makes it sound like we made it straight through.  HECK NO!  Let me break it down….

Road Trip Adventure Day #1:  Shelby, my mom, and I ended up leaving San Antonio in the Tahoe around 11:00AM.  Ranpa had to work, so he drove my Tahoe from work in San Antonio at around 4:00PM.  We all met up in Beaumont, TX, which was about 5 hours from San Antonio.  Shelby was awesome in the car and slept the entire way…except for when we stopped for hamburgers at a Whataburger.  She was VERY awake then.  So we drove from San Antonio to Beaumont and stopped at a Candlewood Suites because it was the only hotel that allowed dogs.  BIG MISTAKE.  I do not recommend anyone stop at the Beaumont Candlewood Suites.  The hotel was pretty gross.  The hotel chair was ripped to shreds and it just seemed dirty.  I got up at about 2 A.M. to check on our cars out the window, and I kid you not there was a GANG of people chilling in the parking lot outside our window. CREEPY!  So yeah, if you ever go through Beaumont with a dog, shove it in a bag and find a different hotel to sneak into!

Shelby seemed to enjoy the drive from San Antonio to Beaumont…

Here is an example of the classiness found at the Candlewood Suites in Beaumont. What a beautiful chair!

This was somewhere in Texas and cracked me up. HOW ABOUT THEM NUTS?!?

This cracked me up too! Let’s put cinnamon buns on a baby’s butt and call it marketing….

 

Road Trip Adventure Day #2: This was by far the longest day of the journey from Beaumont, TX to Tallahassee, FL, driving through Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama for 10 hours! This was a fairly uneventful drive actually.  Nothing funny to report either!  Blah!

Made friends with a horse at a crappy gas station in Louisiana! NEIGHHHH!

Shelby likes to drive the car!

 

Road Trip Adventure Day #3: FINALLY TO SAINT PETERSBURG!  It was a short drive from Tallahassee to Saint Pete (only about 5 hours! Lol).  We arrived in Saint Petersburg around noon and went straight to our new apartment.  We are staying at a fully furnished, huge two bedroom apartment in a complex called Tortuga Pointe. This place is awesome.  Huge pool with cabanas, courtyards with grills and close to Wawa!  What more could you want?!?

Beautiful Tortuga Apartments!

Pool area at night!

Courtyard area right outside our apartment includes seating and gas grills!

There is even an outdoor fireplace and also cabanas around the pool!

The first few days in Florida were spent exploring and unpacking everything with a few trips out to see the beach!  Of course we had to find a doggy day care for Shelby.  She has slight separation anxiety problems, so we figured if we run to the beach we don’t want to leave her howling in an apartment building. We found a couple of options, so I will try them out this coming week since I am off!  WOOHOO!  Beach week for me.  I can handle that for sure!  I PROMISE MY POSTS WILL NOT ALWAYS BE SO LONG!  Lol.  Peace out friends!

Beautiful tree outside our apartment!

Beautiful water view 🙂

Gorgeous Saint Petersburg Bayside!

YAY SAINT PETE BEACH ❤